Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Welcome To The Land of Stability!

Pic from flickr here

I am learning so much from Getting Past Your Past (http:/gettingpastyourpast.wordpress.com)! I was just there reading about using your life inventory and relationship inventories to help you understand what need you were trying fill with your relationship(s).



I realized that when I met E, my life felt very out of control. I can remember telling someone that I felt that my feet had been strapped to a skateboard and then I had been pushed down a hill in San Fransisco. What I saw in E was someone who had had some really bad breaks and made me feel like a rock who could provide stability. What I NOW know is that without being on stable ground myself, I couldn't see that we each need to provide a stable base for ourselves. I couldn't give him that stability and eventually, I had to face the fact that by doing what I had done, I didn't deal with my own instabilities. Mind blowing, I tell you!



So then, I had this lovely mental image: I pictured me on a big, stable raft on a slow and steady river, pulling up alongside someone else who is also on a big, stable raft and saying, "Hi, I see you are from the Land of Stability. I am too!" That crazy image is partly fed by a tee-shirt my son told me about with a goofy, wanna-be guy on it who says, "I see you're pretty gangsta... I'm pretty gangsta myself!" Except, I won't always be a wanna-be -- I really am going to reach The Land of Stability because I am doing the work and walking the walk, sisters-of-mine! I'll know you when I get there!

4 comments:

Melanie said...

Morning Bettsi. By having a goal and "fake it until you make it" attitude you'll get through. A historian said to me- the importance of history is obvious- if you don't know where you've been how can you know where you are going? You'll just end up going round in circles making the same mistakes. Life is a big journey. It's good to take a breather and make sense of it sofar so you can take the next best steps. Hugs.

"Magnolia" said...

Your post reminds me of an old saying that I've heard many times in my life..."You have to love yourself before you can expect others to love you." I think that's powerful information because so often we expect someone else to fill the void we lack in ourselves. You're going to be fine, young lady!

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

sounds like you really have it figured out! Thats more than a lot of us can say! Do you keep a journal? I think that would help tremendously too!
Have a great week!

Bettsi said...

You guys are awesome! Thanks so much for the wonderful, supportive comments. Yes, I do keep a journal- it's been a real help to me!