Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Progress Report

Pic from flickr

I don't really have as much structure in my life as I would like and I want to work on that. One area that I am currently struggling with is my financial situation. I have no wiggle room in my budget and as a result, I need to be very diligent about tracking my spending. Well, this weekend I was not diligent and I am paying for it today. I overdrew the checking account by $4 and incured a $35 overdraft fee. To cover the shortage, I took a Wells Fargo direct deposit advance. That will bite me in the butt next month when it plus the 10% fee come due. And in the interests of complete honesty, I made some purchases with a credit card last weekend. I did need a bed frame, but I don't know that charging it was the wisest thing to do. I was impatient and now I will pay for it.

Ironically, it was the constant financial strain that led, in part, to me wanting out of my marriage. Of course, in that situation, there was more money coming in, but the outflow was harder to control. I was thrilled at the thought of being in better control of the money, but now I have cooked my own goose!

I could wring my hands and call myself names and question every decision I have ever made in my life, but I'm not going to. That is my old mode of operation and it usually just makes me vulnerable. The more I question my abilities and my choices, the harder it becomes to make better choices. So...hmmm....let me think...

I admit my mistake. I was inattentive to my spending and the budget. I exhibited some immaturity with my choices. The consequences are all mine and I will work to become more mindful of my long term goals so that I don't waylay myself with my short term desires.

Emotionally, there have been some real rough patches this week. Many of you know that I work in a very small office and that E works with me. It is not easy to spend eight hours a day with someone you are divorcing. Especially if you put yourself in the path of their pain. I am job hunting, but I am so conflicted about leaving my job. It's an easy job, but easy isn't always best. I guess I am coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to stretch out and try some new things.

In the house, my bedroom is coming along nicely! The walls and ceiling are painted, but I need to clean up the juncture where they meet. The wall are a color called "Dipped In Honey" and the ceiling is "Azure Landscape". It's such a pale blue, that it passes for white, but I really love it against the yellow. Here is my cute little vanity that I bought at the Goodwill for only $9.50 on Independence Day. (Ignore the creepy cat under it!) I painted and antiqued at using the directions here at Cindy's blog, My Romantic Home.

This, obviously, is the before pic. In the lower left is a gold, shiny plastic mirror that I also antiqued and put in the bedroom. Anyway, it's all getting there! I am very, very thankful for the changes in the bedroom. It really is becoming a haven for me- just what I need!


Thrifty Miss Priss said...

I hope you can find a happy "in between" on the budget. You can't completely deprive yourself either. I think the thrift stores are a good way to get some retail therapy and not feel deprived! I hope you find that happy medium. Your vanity looks terrific!

Anonymous said...

Hia Bettsi, hugs. You definately need one room to be a sanctuary of your own when you are going through so many changes. In a way it's good that you have overspent this month- yep weird thing to say I know but bear with me. You made the decisions, you know that you are the one to pay for them and you know that you have an action plan to get back on top of things. That is real control. To keep playing it safe wouldn't let you feel that. Take courage that you know what you are doing. Who knows in a few months time, having had this experience, you may decide to spend differently. Who knows where that could lead. Perhaps a side line is to take thrifted furniture and give them a make-over and sell them on?

You have so much opportunity now. Good idea to change your job. My friend's ex kept trying to make her carry his baggage and be responsible for his feelings when they were divorcing. She reacted in the end by being professional and polite but distant.

I'm so glad you posted again. Love the colour of your bedroom.

Best Wishes,

vivian said...

hi Bettsi! I just read all that you have written on your new blog. I like the name.. it seems appropriate. I think your attitude and outlook and willingness to make important changes is admirable. heres a little saying for you to reinforce making changes.. "if you always do, what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!"
I think the two lemontrees are also really appropriate for new beginings too!
glad you stopped at my blog! I'm going to add you to my places to visit!! hope to see you again soon!

Mary said...

Love your dresser!

And I agree with Melanie. That may be a way to go. You have good taste and you've done a good job with your own things.

I love taking a broken, stained, discarded item and either restoring it to it's original beauty or making something totally new and wonderful! I find it very therapeutic.

I've discovered estate sales often have everthing reduced to almost nothing (we're talking yard sale prices) on the last day just to move it. Might check those out.

Even tho it's been picked over, there are still some treasures that either nobody realized were hot deco items (like old cameras and luggage) or didn't want to take the trouble to clean. All kinds of tips for that online, really not a big deal. It's been fun learning a lot of the simple old ways to clean and freshen things.

Dipped in Honey is really pretty. What brand of paint is it? I haven't been able to find it here yet.

Mary Elise

Mary said...

Oh, and I did that pale pale blue on my bathroom ceiling and love it!
Bet it looks great with your yellow walls. It's just soothing somehow.

Mary Elise

Michelle said...

I'm sorry you're having a hard time! Best of luck with finding a happy medium. I know how tough it can be - we live on one income, have 4 mouths to feed, including our own, am about to have another baby, AND if that weren't enough, we just took on the investment of having a couple dairy goats. Its been hard financially even though we got the goats for free...
Anyway, enough about me. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Pop on over to my blog if you want.

Mary said...

Guess I got a bit wordy there. Sorry.

Please tell me what brand paint "dipped in honey" is?

Mary Elise