Pic from flickr
I don't really have as much structure in my life as I would like and I want to work on that. One area that I am currently struggling with is my financial situation. I have no wiggle room in my budget and as a result, I need to be very diligent about tracking my spending. Well, this weekend I was not diligent and I am paying for it today. I overdrew the checking account by $4 and incured a $35 overdraft fee. To cover the shortage, I took a Wells Fargo direct deposit advance. That will bite me in the butt next month when it plus the 10% fee come due. And in the interests of complete honesty, I made some purchases with a credit card last weekend. I did need a bed frame, but I don't know that charging it was the wisest thing to do. I was impatient and now I will pay for it.
Ironically, it was the constant financial strain that led, in part, to me wanting out of my marriage. Of course, in that situation, there was more money coming in, but the outflow was harder to control. I was thrilled at the thought of being in better control of the money, but now I have cooked my own goose!
I could wring my hands and call myself names and question every decision I have ever made in my life, but I'm not going to. That is my old mode of operation and it usually just makes me vulnerable. The more I question my abilities and my choices, the harder it becomes to make better choices. So...hmmm....let me think...
I admit my mistake. I was inattentive to my spending and the budget. I exhibited some immaturity with my choices. The consequences are all mine and I will work to become more mindful of my long term goals so that I don't waylay myself with my short term desires.
Emotionally, there have been some real rough patches this week. Many of you know that I work in a very small office and that E works with me. It is not easy to spend eight hours a day with someone you are divorcing. Especially if you put yourself in the path of their pain. I am job hunting, but I am so conflicted about leaving my job. It's an easy job, but easy isn't always best. I guess I am coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to stretch out and try some new things.
In the house, my bedroom is coming along nicely! The walls and ceiling are painted, but I need to clean up the juncture where they meet. The wall are a color called "Dipped In Honey" and the ceiling is "Azure Landscape". It's such a pale blue, that it passes for white, but I really love it against the yellow. Here is my cute little vanity that I bought at the Goodwill for only $9.50 on Independence Day. (Ignore the creepy cat under it!) I painted and antiqued at using the directions here at Cindy's blog, My Romantic Home.
This, obviously, is the before pic. In the lower left is a gold, shiny plastic mirror that I also antiqued and put in the bedroom. Anyway, it's all getting there! I am very, very thankful for the changes in the bedroom. It really is becoming a haven for me- just what I need!