This and That

I've got a few more things hanging in my bedroom. The little pink shelf/corbel was my mother's. I've always loved it. The blue pocket is a Victorian watch pocket. Victorian women made them for their husbands as a place to protect their pocket watch at night. I guess that makes it a "pocket watch pocket"!

Anyway, back in the eighties I checked out a book from the library that was all Victorian crafts. I was very inspired by it and made this for my husband, Jerry. It's velvet and it was the first time I had ever done any bead work. I think I will put a photo of Jerry in it and I need to find a more attractive hook than a pushpin! He loved it and used it every night so it's a pretty special little item.

On the other side of the bed I have these pastel portraits. They are a little big for the space, but I love to look at them when I wake up or if I get a nap in on the weekend.

The portrait on the left is Carmen at age three and the other is me at age three. They were both done at Disneyland in New Orleans Square. I grew up looking at the one of me and when we took Carmen to Disneyland I had to have her portrait done! I gave it to my mother and they have been together ever since. I think they are kind of sweet and nostalgic looking.

Here's something you don't see everyday- a naked Josephine March! I am continuing my Little Women sister dolls. I have the most adorable tiny hounds tooth in navy that will be her dress. Very Jo, I think!

Also, on swap-bot I have really been getting into handmade postcard swaps. There is something about postcards that is "just right" for me. ATC's are what a lot of people enjoy, but I get a little too intimidated by them. Postcards are just ...mail, I guess. It really frees me. The one on top is for a black and white artwork swap and the green one is for an alphabet postcard swap. It's so cool- it's going to take about a year to get through the whole alphabet, but when we are done we will have such an awesome collection! By the way, "S" is for sequin if you couldn't tell. I sewed them on by hand and then glued a backing to it. We are not going in order so that kinds of adds to the fun. Plus, I make each postcard tailored to the profile of my recipient so I can't jump ahead and just do letters randomly. It's kind of weird how much I am enjoying these!

In spite of my brave quote about attitude yesterday, I was having a very hard day. Yesterday would have been my twenty-fourth wedding anniversary if I hadn't been widowed in 1995. I think it hit me extra hard because instead of celebrating, I am mourning two marriages. I never thought I would find myself in this position at age 44. I am re-thinking my whole life, I guess. My mother married five times. All I ever wanted was to find Mr. Right and a picket fence and settle into the blissful domesticity that I never experienced as a child. I was so happy with Jerry and before he died, it seemed that I had exactly what I had always wanted. Instead of facing the fact that my life had changed in a very profound way after he died, I tried to replicate my happy life with someone who was not right for me in any way, shape or form. I tried for years and years!

Now I am really coming to terms with the fact that that old, old dream is gone and I must come up with a new plan for my life. Just as my marriage to E was an in-authentic (is that a word?!) choice for me, so is my job. I'm not completely sure how to get there, but art therapist is really looking like a compelling choice for me. I've never been able to commit to a career choice, but this one is different. To work in art and help people at the same time? Wow. That is amazing. It will take a lot of work to get there. First I need a bachelor's degree and then a master's! Whew- that's a lot of schooling for an old gal. But exciting too, huh? Of course, ideally, I would really love to be a full-time student, but I doubt there is a some big benefactor out there handing out scholarships big enough for that! And that's what I'm wondering...do I love this dream enough that I will work at it while still working full-time to support my family? I think I do!

Photo from flickr.